I have been putting off visiting my dress for months. I gained some weight back and I was so disappointed that I didn't want to face it. I canceled my visitation appointment twice. Today was suppose to be a blizzard and try as I might to use that as an excuse to cancel again, my MOH wouldn't let that happen. Tears flowed as the dress zipped...all the way! Not only that...it's too big! So many emotions today but I was thankful that Amanda was there by my side. 8 weeks before the wedding the alterations will begin. I'm allowed to lose 3 dress sizes (10 pounds = 1 dress size) I can do this. 

I love it...I ordered my earrings...from England...and:

*the pay pay would not accept US currency  

*then, they got stuck in customs and returned

*then, they were resent and arrived bent

but I really don't care at point. They are here, and I love them.

We've come a long way from thinking I would have to get married in a burlap sack. The sample dress slipped right on today and the dress has been ordered. They can take it down 3 sizes and I'm working hard to make that a reality. My earrings are also ordered and I am very excited about that. 

Today was the day. The dress I have been staring at in pictures for months is now mine! Let's rewind the story a bit. I found a picture of what I hoped would be my dress. I called around to various bridal stores to see if any carried them. Only a few had it in stock. MB Bride had it, but in a size 10. Since you can't order a dress without paying for a dress, and since a size 10 was not going to fit over my head, I continued to look. I looked and looked online and in magazines. I searched for my dress...but I had already found my dress. Then I got mad. I figured if I can't find the dress in my size to try on...I'll get into the size that it is. So after months of hard work I dropped three pants sizes. would it be enough? 

First stop, me and the girls went to Davids on Friday. I tried on many dresses and mermaid and fit and flare were my silloutes of choice. but...just couldn't find the dress. The last dress I tried on before the store closed was the best of the night. We talked about heming this to do that, trimming that to acomplish this, basically altering the dress to make it the way I wanted...it was the one to beat.

then the crew met up on a windy, chilly saturday morning in late September to go to MB Bride. Margie, my attendant pulled the dress I had printed out months ago. The reason for the visit. My girls pulled dresses they wanted to see me in and I pulled a sexy fit and flare that I thought would be cool (just in case). 

I tried on "the dress" first just to get it out of the way. I didn't make it completly in a size 10, but the dress was on and I could see what I needed to see. It was my dress. It was everything I was trying to make the other dress into. It was the dress of my dreams. I tried on other dresses, and my pulled fit and flare was a very close second but for a beach wedding was just too heavy. All the dresses were pretty, I looked pretty in all of them, but none of them could compare. I tried my dress back on and never wanted to take it off. The girls approved, but most importantly I loved me in my dress, loved how I felt, loved how I looked, just loved loved loved this dress. The search is over, the weight loss continues. What a ride. What's next?

BTW--The picture is not of "The Dress", but rather the fit and flare runner up. The dress will not be seen until 12/13/14.

Today has been a busy wedding day. I bought my shoes, and then I received the word that our date is available at the resort. All that was needed was a deposit to secure the request. I bought my shoes without a moments hesitation. I printed out the forms for the resort deposit, signed what I needed, and scanned the required ID info. I set up the email to send back to my travel agent and then...I panicked! I actually realized how real this email would make things. There is no turning back now.
I texted Malin at work and just double checked..."Hey, you are sure you want to marry me right? Cuz I'm about to send the deposit." Without a hesitation he said yes, and I pressed send.

I searched and searched and searched somemore for my wedding shoes. I wanted red shoes, with a high platform. Sounds easy enough, right? Wrong. The search is over now though...I found the most perfect pair of rocker chic shoes ever! And best of all...they match my save the date magnents. Can't wait to show all of you on the beach of Riveria Maya.

August 4, 2012

AND THE DRAMA CONTINUES

So excited about my shoes. Texted Tharen for a week "did I get a package". Finally he said the package is here. Malin came home and said "your shoes are here". I was still at work and notified everyone NOT to open the box. 

When I got home I ran into the bathroom with my package like a kid on Christmas. I ripped the shoes out of the box. They were beautiful. I went to try them on and ...they did not fit. My size was not my size in these shoes. No worries, I'll just exchange them for a different size...but the next size up is not available in the same color.UGH!!! back to square one. Remenants of the ring drama all over again.

August 13, 2012

The shoes have finally arrived. To be safe I am leaving them a size too big and will use inserts to fill the gap. Shoes are done. What's next?

His ring arrived with a lot less drama. When it arrived we couldn't help but try it on. When I put the ring back in the box Malin said with disappointed realization in his voice, "I have to wait 2 years before I can wear it again."

Crazy. That's all I can say. I started with falling in love with a black diamond solitare. I was so excited when I found out that I didn't have to buy it online...It was at King's. After work I stopped off to see "my ring." I looked at it and realized...it did not look like the picture. It was like a little tiny dirty rock. I was heart broken but still felt hopeful. I told Courtney, my sales rep at Kings, I want different. I want a black ring. So she showed me Onyx rings. I fell in love with one that was perfect...except for the yellow gold band. The plan: when Rodney, the manager, came in the next day we were going to see if it could be ordered in white gold. Bright and early saturday morning I went to Kings (leaving my son standing in front of the toliet screaming he was not going to pee...but that is a different story). I walked in to bad news. 1)no white gold, 2) Onyx is so soft and so tempermental that it can not be worn daily without risk of cracking. 

*sigh* what to do. Make one, that's what. So I selected a spinal stone, picked a band and signed my name on the bottom of the receipt. A week went by and I got the call that the pieces were in for my approval. Woo hoo, went to see the stone...where is the stone...it was that small. disappointment and frustration set in. The order was returned and I realized we were out of black stones. Then Courtney took me to see the Garnets. My heart started to heal and I found my ring...my true ring. Just needed sized. 

The ring was left behind by accident at corporate. It got to the jewler a week late and was sized a 1/2 size too big. I didn't care...It came home with me, and will be resized when I buy the wedding band. It was a journey, as everything in our relationship is...but it was worth it

Amanda had second thoughts on her dress, so Devin and I agreed to go to David's with her to help her finalize her dress selection. Amanda, the saint friend that she is, called ahead to see if some dresses were there in my size so I could try them on. I agreed to try on one dress (a high low dress that I have started to like after the last debockle). Off to David's we went after work. Amanda looked stunning in everything she put on and she found her dress. My dress was no longer there, and that was fine by me. Two weeks ago I had enough humiliation to last me a life time. But Devin and Amanda would hear none of it. They forced me in the dressing room and pulled dresses for me...tight dresses, silloute dresses...WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU THINKING dresses...and you know what? They were right. In two weeks I had lost inches and almost 2 more pounds. I am starting to get an hour glass and my ideas about a wedding dress are starting to change. The best friends ever... they knew what I needed and are willing to go to the ends of the Earth to help me find the dress that shows off my hard work. Love you both.

I lost 10 pounds and was feeling good about myself...so after gathering the necessary items for a 4th of July event with friends I turned right out of Big Lots and headed to David's Bridal to see about "the dress". I explained to the ladies, Mandy and Patty, that my wedding was a ways off, but I was curious about the weight of the dress I wanted. They pulled it out and some how convinced me to try it on. You have to understand, this is the dress I have been wanting to wear for years. Before Malin was my fiancee, before proposals, I had this dress picked out. I got into the dressing room with Mandy and put on the dress...and then...disaster. It didn't zip, or come close to zipping for that matter. I loved the dress, I just didn't love me in it. Then Cassie came and everyone was talking about how my face just didn't say "I love it". I did, I just didn't like how I looked in it. I was still too fat for this dress. "Try on more" was the solution of the room. Every dress made me feel worse. 10 pounds clearly was not where I should have started looking at dresses. I broke down on the stage-I cried and said...I don't want this anymore. I'll come back in December....when I'm skinny. If this dress (my dress) is still here it's meant to be, if not...I guess God will give me another dress. 

I felt like I was in a bad car crash. I was crushed...I thought I had made progress, but alas. I was beginning to mourn a dress I saw slipping from my sights.